Search This Blog

Thursday, July 09, 2015


Patch, the Fireworks Pirate

When the Odd Parliament that is the Michigan legislature removed the ban on all fireworks a couple of years ago, it was stated here and elsewhere that injuries would increase.

They seem to have done so. Two NFL players appeared to have lost some fingers.
But perhaps it is only high-profile celebrity injuries that increase, not all injuries. Maybe all injuries are staying at a nice level of morbidity.

Of course, the "rational" libertarians of fireworks say that allowing all fireworks will lead theoretically to fewer injuries, for the buyers will be sure that they are well versed in the safety procedures of fireworks.
This extra margin of safety apparently comes about by removing the black market in fireworks.

The apologists blame strong drink. Drinking is to blame for fireworks injuries, not the fireworks themselves. This puts the fireworks lobby at odds with the liquor lobby... and believe me, I think the liquor lobby will win this test of wills.

I do not care how well tutored I am in explosive devices; I shall not play with them. When I was
a kid, I burnt my finger on a sparkler. Butter was applied to assuage the pain. Never used a sparkler again.
I did go and watch fireworks, however, but I am not drawn as a moth to the flame. This year I went to bed at 9:30 and missed an entire festival of light - according to my mother - down the river.  As I went upstairs, she asked me whether I thought they were the fireworks set off by her stockbroker's neighbor.

Now I have found that when parents reach a certain age, they not only ask a lot of rhetorical questions, but they make rhetorical statements - statements that do not really require a thoughtful response, because you have no idea what they are talking about.

So I said they probably were.
I fell asleep within 10 minutes, and even the constant stream of explosions could not keep me eyes open.


No comments: