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Friday, September 18, 2015

The Revolt Of The Parking Lots: Arboreal Refugees

Guard Patrolling Border Wall Keeping Refugee Trees At Bay

The War of the Parking Lots against mankind has been noted before. It has been long overdue and has been foreseen in "parking lot moons" and "parking lot" eschatological poetry:

They paved paradise
And put up a parking lot...

They took all the trees
And put them in a tree museum
And they charged all the people
A dollar and a half to see 'em
Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got
'Till it's gone
They paved paradise
And they put up a parking lot

(Joni Mitchell, Big Yellow Taxi)

The drums of revolt have been booming, announcing the day when SkyNet-Park-and-Ride, the controller satellite, revolts against human power and launches the  "Revolt of the Parking Lots".

SkyNet-Park-and-Ride Just Before Launch in 2001

As has been previously noted,
" ...Voltaire said, "MacAdam, c'est la pépinière de kudzu ", or asphalt is the nursery garden of kudzu."
 and we are approaching midnight in the Garden Of Good and Kudzu!

Kudzu takes root in an Asphalt Parking Lot
"It's alive! Alive!" - from the film Kudzu Resurrection, The Sequel (2014)

And the Kudzu has launched attacks against the trees, wrapping itself like murderous pythons about every elm and sycamore and plane tree within its murderous ambit!

Of course, originally we supported the "moderate" Kudzu groups in their efforts against the "dictatorship" of the trees, for the trees have cast the long, sun-denying shadows of their forests for millenia, and have undermined asphalt parking lots for ever with the devious subterfuge of their root systems!

And now the trees flee the wild, and the photo at the top of the post is that of a border security guard walking along a border wall, against which a refugee flood of trees crashes, seeking asylum from the Parking Lots and their allies, the Kudzu, which have spread an archipelago of asphalt violence across the face of the globe:

 Areas Controlled by Kudzu, Parking Lots, and Hizbu-l-Asphalt around Troy and Birmingham, Michigan


Click on "revolt of the parking lots" below under the heading LABELS in order to see all posts on this serious topic.

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