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Wednesday, February 27, 2013

The New Orthography

You must have happened to read about blokes - usually heavy with the grey matter - who have spent oodles of time, possibly most of their later years, pushing for a renovation of the English way of spelling; George Bernard Shaw comes to mind.

Of course, by making the orthography better by creating letters which more closely correspond to the actual grunts, whistles, clicks, and noises that issue from our throats, these schemes end up increasing the sum total of letters to be learned by the elementary school children: instead of 26 letters, they would have to deal with 50 or so.
I wonder how that would affect reading in those early years?

Nevertheless, since I have crossed the Rubicon - as it were - into the heady regions of old mens' Latium and the crones' senectutis.... as if I were a Julius Caesar befuddled by dementia, wandering hither and yon, and under the delusion that I had always depended upon the kindness of Pompey......

Nevertheless, in my dotage, I have decided to orthographize (not to mention creating novel words like "orthographize"); as an homage to Quentin Tarantino and his adulators (who thereby practice Tarantolatry)..........
I have decided to adopt the "D Emphatic", such as used in the title of the masterpiece Django Unchained, and put it to work...... the film will be referred to as Django Undchained.
The briny deep will be the color of  "adzur", and it will be plied by sailing "dships".

I think language changes should be made frequently to express our adulation of celebrities. Perhaps their genius will make our times look not quite so dismal to future historians.

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