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Sunday, January 20, 2013

Expectations and La Penumbra de la Paloma

 La Calle Desconocida

I don't believe in God.
I expect God.
I expect that if I turn the corner onto a new and different street -  a street I have never been on before and whose shops are filled with odd objects, a true calle desconocida en la penumbra de la paloma - God will be on the corner, wearing his distinctive dark fedora.

If I believe in God, however, I also believe that the new and different street is either narrow or broad; it is paved with gold or asphalt; the shops are open or they are closed, although things are not always what they seem.
If I do not believe the street will run to my destination, others will try to convince me that this street is the real way and truth, giving me copies of their GPS Salvation. If there are potholes, believers will try to exorcise them and cast them out.
If I use this street enough, the believers will tell me that it is not enough to think that it runs true and straight, for I must read and understand the infrastructure of the street, the pipes beneath, the gas mains, the grades and sub-grades of sand and stone; they will take me to the time when there were no streets and all was virgin forest and edenic peace, and then their God said "Fiat pavimenta!", and then there were pavements of many kinds...

Expectation is the Dawn Consciousness of Children expecting Santa Claus: St.Nicholas is never really absent;  it is the ritual of how we focus on life that allows for being filled or emptied. The ritual of Christmas puts us in a state of apartness and leads us to a state of togetherness... but in actuality, we are always one with St. Nick, with Christmas, with the Christ Child.
Belief rituals are used for a state of constant emptiness, giving us a feeling of never being satisfied.
Expectation is the state of being on the verge of fulfillment, and we easily tip over into the landscape of fullness.

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