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Monday, August 29, 2011

Capitol Hill Has Eyes 5: Bachmann Prophesies!



Hurricane Irene was, according to the Prophet Bachmann, a warning from God that our politics must change. I agree with her, but I think she is the Jezebel that needs to be removed.

A puny little hurricane obviously would not transgress the solemn agreement God made with Noah, so I suppose we could not sue God for breach of contract.
How small was Irene? It was so small that my daughter's Maryland community did not lose power, and that place loses power when somebody flushes the toilets in the City building!

I suppose Glenn Beck sees the hand of the Almighty in weather events, too. If so, then why do these dolts oppose the notion of Climate Change? Climate Change for a Bachmann and a Beck would surely be equivalent to the Voice of the Lord! So by denying the chaos of climate change, they deny their own best prophecies

Why do we look to Al Roker and The Weather Channel anyway for our Eschatology study of the Last Days? Why don't we look closer to home? Why don't we look at the fact that suddenly the Red States (Republican and conservative and Southern) have a higher divorce rate, according to the Times over the weekend? Divorce is the one offense dealing with sex mores that is definitely condemned in the New Testament... there is no mention of hurricanes at all.
Back in aught-3, I thought that the incredible arrogance we demonstrated in our rush to war in Iraq was a warning from God: Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall. As it turned out, that prophesy was pretty close.
Nowadays it's all earthquakes and hurry-canes! Might as well read The Farmers' Almanac as The Bible. What kind of coat are the woolly caterpillars sportin', Michelle? Any word from above there?
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