The Ice Beautician Cometh

Loosely based on O'Neil's The Iceman Cometh Cast of Characters: She - the cutter of hair Rachel - a cutter of hair, languidly waiting for a head or two. Me ------------- Rachel - (to no one in particular) it's dead here. no customers for an hour. i'm gonna pack up and go... Me - (talking to She cutting my hair)...so I said that Obama's name is actually "Kenya Bob"...or "Kenya Double Bob Major" (laughs to himself).... She - ( trimming my moustache and trying to shut me up) stop talking. I'm going to make a mistake...stop talking. I'm gonna cut you if you don't. Me - wow! that's just like a girl from puerto rico i used to know. she said she'd cut me. she was kidding, tho. we were playing like Klingon mating ritual games... She - ( stands back and laughs heartily.) o.k., but be quiet now so I don't cut you by mistake. Me - (mouth closed) mmmmmm...... She - ok. done. Me - don't forget, no eyebrow trimming... She - (looking at the wooly caterpillars of my orbital arches) why?... Me - bad luck. no iron cuts hair - look at samson. it wasn't the hair-cutting; it was cutting with iron that did him in. She - (looking at my head) what do you think i'm using up here on your head? george washington's wooden clippers? Me - i don't count that as hair. fuzz, more like it. "hair" is a collective noun....what's up there ain't no collective... She - ...i never thought you'd be superstitious. Me - me superstitious! what about you? i know you prayed last year to win the lottery. like God's gonna grab them super drawing ping pong balls and nudge 'em 'cause you said you were sorry for being a bad girl... She - hmmm...ok. Me - what're ya doing for thanksgiving? She - mom's place. miss my dad, tho. Me - oh, yeah. he passed recently, didn't he? She - year ago. I used to call him and talk on the way home every night. Me - really? She - i should take his number off the speed dial, but i can't. Me - leave it. you don't have so many friends that you need the space. She - (smiles and brandishes scissors menacingly) be careful! ...but i feel so hurt sometimes... Me - (rare silence)......you know, we gotta look at the bright side of these things. Your painful memory is a witness to the depth and intensity of your mutual devotion. Each time it hurts, it should also remind you how great it was. She - yeah. i guess... Me - (off on my own rant now)...Life is like that. Look at the feelings of good things: how long does it last? Not really long...the highs don't last long. But suffering and pain- the lows - they can last forever. So we gotta turn suffering inside out, and see again the high, the love that caused it, to feel the touch that gave rise to it, even to smell the freshly baking bread that fed it! Rachel - (who is into zen)...like buddhism, right? Me - hmmm...yeah. i guess. the suffering part sure fits. suffering based in our body. God's world is good. it's just that the chemistry of good in us doesn't last forever. when it goes away, it leaves a track or trace. we smell it as sharp and acrid pain in the nose of memory........ They both stare a me. I was thinking of punning "nose-talgia" but decided against it. Me - what? what'd I say? She - you made your point...well said...now be quiet and let me do that kudzu in your ears. Rachel - i'll cut your hair anytime...