A Visit From "Auntie Christ"

My great aunt Sophronia will soon be swooping by like the Angel of Death. Since everything happens in threes, and four members of my family have died since January 1, 2007, I think I shall be safe. My mother, however, always the chipper little bird, points out that four is greater than three. Hence, everything happens in threes, but now the cycle is beginning again, and there are two more needed to fill in the present mahayuga.
Sophronia travels around the country and speaks to various groups of antiquities ( She calls the AARP a "bunch of wild kids!" ) about politically related issues. The fall of the Soviet Union threw her for a loop. She stayed in her house for a year with the blinds drawn. Of course, this was almost 20 years ago, so she was in her mid-70s. We used to take turns going over and knocking on the door. If the door was open, we drew straws to see who would get to go inside, the assumption being that she had passed away a few days ago. She did not die.
She emerged from her quasi-death revitalized. She had found a cause. It was Nuclear Re-Armament. To the rest of the family, it seemed liked a crazy, mixed up, re-hashed concatenation of the quondam Moral Re-Armament and Dr. Strangelove. It turns out that it was exactly that. When a decidedly odd family thinks it has an eccentric in its midst, it is time to fear the enraged villagers with torches and pikestaffs and pitchforks. She travels around speaking about President Bush's implementation of the Nuclear Posture Review.
She likes the idea of the sole superpower expanding the role of nuclear weapons. She has a delicious appreciation of irony. She will quote from memory, putting those of us of the generation less than 3 score and 10 to shame, that "In setting requirements for nuclear strike capabilities, distinctions can be made among the contingencies for which the United States must be prepared. Contingencies can be categorized as immediate, potential or unexpected. North Korea, Iraq, Iran, Syria, and Libya are among the countries that could be involved in immediate, potential, or unexpected contingencies. All have longstanding hostility toward the United States and its security partners; North Korea and Iraq in particular have been chronic military concerns. All sponsor or harbor terrorists, and all have active WMD, or weapons of mass destruction, and missile programs.”

Whether from usage or pretence, she gives "missile" the British pronunciation, the second "i" being long. "Missiiiile..." long and lovingly dripping from her tongue.

This same program was characterized by The Churches' Center for Theology and Public Policy as : The administration plans to revitalize the U.S. nuclear infrastructure to maintain U.S. nuclear capabilities and to discourage other countries from competing militarily with the U.S. Upgrades and new nuclear weapons development are a part of this plan. Plans indicate that new nuclear weapons will be required to accomplish new military missions. This arsenal would have the capability to target and destroy mobile and re-locatable targets and hard and deeply buried targets. Plans are also underway to reestablish advanced warhead concept design teams. She scoffs at the "pacifist padres". She calls them "padres" because that's what they called them in WW II. She is fond of singing "Praise the Lord, and Pass the Ammunition." Her married name was Chresto. Hence, Auntie Christ came from the lips of toddlers just beginning to talk, just looking at the wide world with new eyes.