My three nephews stopped by for tea the other day. They refer to it not as "tea and crumpets" or "tea and cookies" or "tea and treacle" nor any other of an infinity of combinations beginning with the words "tea and...".
They call it "tea and a touch" blatantly and angelically open-faced and brazen, meaning they will hit me up for funds.
If I have been given a heads-up about their impending arrival, I am usually able to slip into my stage trousers of the deep pockets I keep empty for times like these. When the time comes for a "touch", I am able to pull out my pockets and show them the long linen, saying things in my stumbling Arabic such as "I have gambled all my coins or lucre on the sporting clubs!"
Once we have gotten past this pantomime, we are able to interact without our masks on: their pantomime mask of nepotial piety (nepotial from the same root that gives us "nepotism"; i.e., nepos="nephew") and I my pantomime mask of avuncular sympathy, and it is all gung-ho for the Earl Grey and chocolates.
On this particular day, we decided to speak as if we were newspapermen in Chicago in the 1920's transported to present-day America and writing about the economy.
Thus, we spoke of Angelo "Greasy Finger" Mozillo and Countrywide Bank. The "greasy" part, pronounced "greeee-zzy", refers to tanning butter.
There was Allen "Creepy" Greenspan, Stanley "Schemer" O'Neal of Merril Lynch, James "Jimmie Hat" Cayne of Bear Stearns, and Ben "Choirboy" Bernanke.
We swerved into other areas of public fame.
There was George "Po' Boy" Bush (I am informed it is a type of sandwich), Richard "Dirty Dog" Cheney, Donald "Lemons" Rumsfeld ( he looks as if he sucks lemons...all the time), Paul "Bet a Billion" Wolfowitz, and William "B-S" Kristol.
Scarface would feel at home.
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