Auntie Anti-Christ

I was going to write about my Aunt Chresto, whom is considered to be the anti-Christ by more than one person, but have decided against it. For one, it is her 100th birthday, or some such centennial figure, so why not just celebrate? I know she would like that more than writing about her. She considers my writing to be amateurish, the work of a literary and philosophical dilletante. I do not very much improve the situation by saying, " Dilletante! Mais, non, ma tante!" and working around this basic template a number of present participles of the feminine gender: savante, amante, suivante, frappante... So, instead I shall talk about how some Republicans have issued a fatwa that perhaps Obama is the anti-Christ. John McCain thinks this is a good joke. However, this is impossible. John Haggee is the anti-Christ, as we all know. For one thing, John McCain has denied John Haggee three times! Once in his human incarnation, once as his angelic presence, and once as his master and mentor. I am sure that had there been an officer of the law attempting to arrest Johnny H., and had there been a suitable sword nearby, and had Johnny McC. been at hand, John McCain would have lopped off the ear of said officer of the law in no time. Therefore, let this put to rest the analogies to Judas, for truly it is more like Simon Peter. And I hurry to offer apologies to Simon Peter for involving him in this tawdry affair.