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Sunday, February 07, 2016

Baby Names: Marie Pacifique?

Everyone is still working on baby names as February 15th approaches.
This will be our first grandchild. I have called her Zoe, which seems appropriate, as Zoe means "life".

I have been preoccupied. My mind turns only on the potential futures. Terrifically we are immersed in out thoughts, and we ignore the puppet shows of presidential candidates.
(We suspicion they will all implement policies which shall "ice-floe" the elderly anyway, won't they?)

The weather forecast for our drive to Maryland has improved since February 3rd, at which time the GFS models forecast either 1.5 inches rain or 15 inches snow in Maryland. The snow would have been spread out over a number of days, making it more manageable than the previous 31 inches of snow spread out over 36 hours two weeks past, which pretty much was it for the eastern seaboard below the Mason-Dixon line. Schools were out for a week, and municipalities were asking for volunteers to help shovel out bus stops which were piled high with snow.

Back then we all were thinking snow, snow, snow, ... and pregnant ladies traveling to hospitals along roadways covered by 31 inches of snow...
We all were so focused that I think we may be able to handle 15 to 20 inches with aplomb.
It occupied a good portion of the mind. My mother said that she expected to look out the window and sees snow everywhere. She did not see any, because we live up north of Maryland, where there is no snow really, and today the temperature is supposed to reach 48 degrees Fahrenheit, and my seasonal allergies are continuously in some vast legislative tumult about the scope of their powers: the sinuses claim outrage that the bronchial passages are overextending their grasp, while the chthonic powers afflict me with an unexpected satyriasis, and the tinnitus of autumnal hay fevers flows into winter and laughs a metallic chuckle.

I looked for snow every day, also, and there was none. I informed the powers that be that I would accept the 31 inches and shovel out the drives of all the infirm and elderly within a 2 mile radius if they would transfer the powder up our way and keep it away from our daughter.
Until we moved in 2003 I used to shovel out our house, our immediate neighbor's house, and the house of the old lady across the street. I don't think we ever got 31 inches snow, however. We would not have had places to store it.

I hope the baby's name is Mary-something-something. Mary is a fine name. It is powerful and focused. One never goes wrong with a patroness such as Holy Mary.
My wife had an aunt by marriage whose name was Marie Pacifique, whom all the Irish relatives called Aunt Pacifica.
I was thinking along the lines of Mary Pacifica until it dawned on me that all the kids at elementary school would be goofing around, saying

Mary Pacifica! Mare Pacifica!

making a joking pun on the Latin for "Pacific Ocean" :  mare pacifica ,
and what is worse than hazing in Latin? (In my imagination, I already have the child going to a rather snooty school.)

The kids always used to make fun of one of She-who-must-be-obeyed's paternal nephews by changing his name from

Meyer Hans Joachim

into a teasing chant of

Meyer Hansy Waffles!

One must be careful with names.


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