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Sunday, January 01, 2017

News From Armageddon

Some odd lots are saying that if the UN settlement resolution were to somehow lead to a permanent peace between Israel and a separate Palestinian state, that would presage the seven years of world peace that would eventuate in some End-of-Times kerfuffle.

I mean, really. It's just like we would be in the jacuzzi of eternity playing Marco Polo, only instead of the Venetian's name, we'd giggle and yell "Arma-!", "-geddon!" for a septet of years.
I never quite understand the love of the cessation of life that these holy numbers experience. Nor do I understand how they arrogate to themselves the hubris of knowing the mind of God. It is the most flagrant and insulting idolatry of this modern world, a world which itself is known for its gruesome idolatries!

Anyway, how would anyone recognize world peace? No one's ever seen it. And the notion that God uses Universal Peace as a carrot just before the stick of Armageddon is a gargoyle-touch of the absurd that is so universally ironic that it takes away one's breath.

Furthermore, I wonder if Armageddon would have to be rain-checked if, for example, some brouhaha broke out someplace, like in a Walmart parking lot.
Suppose a situation similar to this might occur:
By David J. Neal
A woman visiting from Switzerland showed no neutrality about her desire to get into the Steve Madden shoe store at Sawgrass Mills mall. And she used a bottle of water to emphasize her desire.

That set off a mall fight at the Sunrise shopping complex that didn’t reach full mall brawl status of some other incidents around the nation this week, but didn’t lack hot emotions.

Video by WINZ 940-AM sports talk radio host Andy Slater shows the confrontation between Swiss tourist Pascale Pauly, Steve Madden store manager Yesenia Ruiz and store employee Giovanni Aponte around 5:45 p.m. Wednesday.

Ruiz told Sunrise police she shut the store’s doors because it was at capacity level. Others said the store closed for a short time to allow staff to clean up the carnage from bargain-hunting holiday crowds. Either way, one customer remained in the store.

Meanwhile, the Sunrise police report says, Pauly accompanied banging on the glass doors with demands of a wait time before re-entry.

After Aponte opened the door to let the last customer out, Slater’s video picks up Pauly standing in the doorway, demanding answers from him. Aponte asks her to back out of the doorway.

“I’ll explain it to you when you back away from my face,” Aponte says.

When Pauly refuses, he asks again while pushing with the back of his left hand on her right shoulder.

“Don’t push! Don’t push!” Pauly says.

Still standing so the door couldn’t close, Pauly asks Aponte what’s happening. Someone off camera says they’ve been waiting 35 minutes (Was it the 70 percent off table of shoes? The $29.99 table?).

“Answer me!” Pauly demands while refusing to move so Aponte can close the door. He tells her he’ll call the authorities.

I ... don’t ... care! I know my rights!” she replies.

Ruiz walks up behind Aponte, holding a phone in her right hand with her left hand in the palms-forward, “halt” position but only waist high. According to the Sunrise police report, Ruiz was calling them.

The video shows Pauly reaches behind Aponte to Ruiz’s left arm. The report says Pauly poked Ruiz in the left shoulder, then pinched her.

Whatever happened, it’s on.

The women briefly fling arms at each other across Aponte. Ruiz connects with a light slap while Pauly uses her reach to empty a bottle of Evian on Ruiz. Pauly starts to walk away, then pivots back right into Ruiz’s overhand right to the head that rocked Pauly back a few steps.

Pauly recovers, approaches again and is hit again before co-workers pull Ruiz back.

Sunrise police said it was a case of simple battery on both counts -- Pauly as the aggressor with the poke and pinch, then Ruiz the aggressor when she came out of the store to go upside Pauly’s head. Neither woman is pressing charges. Pauly was issued a trespass warning for the Steve Madden store and escorted away.

In a statement, the Steve Madden company is investigating the incident.

“Steve Madden is committed to a culture of mutual respect, and we are in the process of thoroughly investigating the events that led to this unfortunate incident. We look forward to providing updates once we have completed our investigation.”

At this point I would add:

"Steve Madden Shoes is committed to keeping to the Armageddon timetable, and we shall sweep this all under some universal rug."

And this is because even the smallest fight in your local Irish watering hole - say, Lucky Baldwin's for example - would cause a breach in the 7 Year Peace that comes before Armageddon, and the doomsday clock would need to be reset back to ZERO!


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