We read in The Hummus:
7 Lame-Ass Muslims Who Did Absolutely Nothing in 2014
By Yahya Ridwan
http://www.thehummusnews.com/843/
#5 Rollah “Marry Me Yesterday” Hossain (photograph above)
Rollah wants to get married yesterday. She’s been on muslima.com and halfourdeen.com, and is starting to look into using Tinder. Rollah is looking for a sugar daddy that can support her fake Prada addiction. She figures investing her time tricking an eligible Muslim bachelor into marrying her is much easier than hitting the gym and trying to graduate.
She has been considering a shift in strategy toward aunt-based solutions, since one of her ugly cousins owns a few dealerships. Meanwhile, she continues to refine her go-to recipes in preparation for her Food Network cooking show, which she assures us is forthcoming. She has only food-poisoned her family three times in the last two years, making her one of the better cooks in her house, second only to her eleven-year-old little know-it-all sister.
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