A New Chair Is Endowed

I have just instituted a new study area and represented as so by a label:  LGBT Studies
I appointed myself as the first professor to the Turing Chair at Montag U.

What brought this about was an old proposition about dear Professor Dumbledore of Hogwarts:

Resolved:  Whether Dumbledore be gay, or no.

Robin: 
"Night and Silence, who is there?
Weeds of gay pride doth he wear."  

Hermia: 
" 'sfaith! 'tis old Dumbledore! "

(quote from my book Le Shakespeare Imaginaire)

I am appalled at this nonsensical 1984 Stalinist attempt to rewrite history and tell us that Dumbledore is gay. We did not know it before; the author did not know it before...perhaps she hid the fact until she had amassed limitless wealth, then sprung...what?...the sorry truth...the love that dare not speak its name?... I mean, how can it be part of the story when it is dumped on us like a deus ex machina that has no particular part to play in the story...the deus just stands there on the stage and looks ill at ease, waiting for a player or two to toss it a line.  
(I was about to write "waiting for one of the protagonists to throw it a line" but I got into an internal debate of Fowler versus the OED...and Fowler triumphed! Absolutely wizard debate.)

The author should have said that Dumbledore is not gay. Then we could have said, ahah! we thought so! Surely no sane gay person could have decorated Hogwarts, the school being more Huysmanian than gay.  

( In re Huysman, Huysmanian trumps gay every time; that is, the concept "gay" is rather tepid next to the real deal and sort of squinches down like a feline that knows it has met its match...and vanishes.)

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