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Monday, March 03, 2014

Mary 2

I had a post on the Mother of Jesus, and I stated that I had not uttered a prayer which asked for anything for a long, long time. Well, that was a great exaggeration. I have done so more recently than 50 years ago.

In fact, I remember the time.
It was some years ago. There was a government agency (no names mentioned) which wanted a goodly amount of data about my financial affairs, and some token payments. I was thrown into a funk, despair, and a pit of fear. I prayed quite a bit for an end to this problem.
I finally got stuff together, copied and scanned everything, and mailed it off by certified mail on the last day allowed.

The next thing that happened is that the government agency sent me a bill for a large amount of cash not quite $50,000 for my ignoring their request.
Apparently they had lost the mail.
So I resent everything, including a full color scan of my certified mail receipt.

The next thing is a letter stating all is well and my payment returned... except for $350. That $350 they decided to keep. I thought there might be some small justification on their part, and I was exhilarated and released from the very pit of despair.

Now I was entirely satisfied at that time. I was happy to have an end of it, and I was no way going to argue further about the $350. I thought that maybe I had gone 24 hours over the roll-over date on an obscure amount of IRA money, so $350 was a bit hefty for the small amount, but OK. I was OK with it.

So I did some thank you prayers before going to sleep.
Then that "shining" type thing happened. As I dropped my head onto the pillow for the last 15 seconds of consciousness before I  normally escape into sleep, in my awareness was a very clear apprehension that (1) this $350 dollars business is not over, and (2) I would get it back!

Now, this is something I really dislike, because I usually interpret it as my conscious or subconscious self setting up a test for God. I am just like those in the Gospels who need a constant flow of miracles in order that they may believe.
It was like my bad nature saying that if the object of my prayers is so powerful, prove it and get my $350 back.
I mean, how do you handle it if you think you talk with God, and things do not turn out as you wanted or expected? That's a sticky situation. Reverend Harold Camping had it a number of times before he passed, and he kept thinking he was talking to God when he heard the magic date for the end of the world.
But he was only listening to a stage play in his own head, scripted with scraps and bits of Revelations and fed by a disgust of modernity and its sinful ways.

I did not like it, because I knew I was not getting the money back, and this nonsense business of setting up hoops for the deity to jump through would create an antagonism in my soul that would be bitter in the future. It messed with my mind. I convinced myself it was my base - yet loveable - acquisitive nature scrabbling for a few simoleons, and it would not be held against me on that Day.

Three months later, I got the money back with interest.



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