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Saturday, November 30, 2013

Let's Just Take A Deep Breath....

 And Now The News At 11:00...

... relax.... deep breaths....

We were talking about Rob Ford, Mayor of Toronto earlier, but....

We have a country where Sarah Palin makes juvenile parallels with slavery, and Martin Bashir invokes various barbarisms as punishment involving urination and defecation!

Just relax and think about it for a second...

We have a government agency that was supposed to track terrorists now collecting phone calls and emails from every person on earth! And many people in Congress are cool with it!

Just think about it.

We have stampedes, fights, and shootings at retail centers on the day after Thanksgiving!
Do you think I'm making this up?
I mean, what the heck?
Some Nativity scene or Ten Commandments at the City Hall ain't gonna help these suckers!
War on Christmas, heck! More like War on Thanksgiving! Just wait until Boxing Day, December 26, if you want to see a War on Christmas!

My mother tells me on Thanksgiving that Mr. Obama is going to run again for president. They are going to change the law. They are going to apparently repeal the Constitutional Amendment limiting a person to two terms as president.
I asked her how that gets by the House of Representatives and the 3/4 of the States in time for 2015, but she says it's gonna happen. Maybe Michelle Obama's gonna run, and Barak will be the power behind the throne, and be the puppetmaster!
Now this is literally bat-shit crazy.
(Well, she only listens to FOX and Rush Limbaugh, and I don't think FOX is that's crazed yet.)

I accused her of too much fruit cake with bourbon, because this was bizarre even for my mother!
(Truly, a 92 year old little lady cannot suddenly take bourbon and soak a 2 year old fruit cake she has been saving next to the "Use By May 2005" jar of creole mustard in the refrigerator, then start nibbling at the soaked pieces without some bad effects. By Christmas dinner, I will be the only teetotaller in the crowd, and I am really looking forward to that freak show.)

I said it was just like the Seinfeld episode where Kramer was going to run for the Boca Del Vista presidency, and Marty Seinfeld was going to be the power behind the throne.........
She did not get it. She does not get Seinfeld.

Maybe that's part of our problem: we are not able to recognize outrageous satire and comedy.
If the Marx Brothers were in their prime now, they would be News Commentators!


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